Xandra Abram

Xandra Abram

My name is Xandra and I’ll be turning 40 in January (I’m a Capricorn but when it comes to accurate personality typing I prefer the Myers Briggs Personality Test: I’m an ENFP to a T and props to you if you know what that means, Lol). My earned release date is January 23, 2021. 

I don’t really identify as gay or straight or whatevs I prefer to be labeled (if I MUST be labeled at all, hahaha) a sapiosexual. (Google it, if you’re unsure of what that means. As a matter of fact, yanno what?! Google it even if you’re familiar with the term. Then tell me about how spectacular it was, using such a convenient little resource that I, having been locked up for the past ten months without, WILL NEVER TAKE FOR GRANTED EVER AGAIN.) 

I have an eight year old son who’s living with my mom right now and thriving he’s the funniest, brightest, most empathetic, sensitive, charismatic, generous, outgoing, little old-soul I’ve ever met. I’m not really sure what I’m looking for in a pen-pal (DAMN, I rrrrrrrrrreally wish I could utilize Google right now I’m unsure of whether “pen pal” is hyphenated…? Meh) but, even though I’m in TC (therapeutic community ie. INPATIENT, IN PRISON)…I’m incredibly bored. 

We talk (a lotta shit about each other in here, basically) and say to “not shop for a new car in a junkyard”, right? And I used to think that was an incredibly pessimistic and jaded perspective, BUT!! The truth is: I’m now ridiculously discriminate about who I choose to spend time with and/or allow into my life, moving forward on the path I’m walking. I crave emotional fulfillment and intellectual intercourse that–let’s just be honest–is pretty much unavailable where I am, currently. I have almost 11 months clean as of today (5-29-20) and I’ll be working the infamous Twelve Steps, once released. I’m learning how to establish healthy boundaries in all of my relationships and I’ve embraced my codependency issues in order to grow out of them. 

I’m an activist: I speak out against routine infant circumcision (touchy subject, I know, but if you wanna broach it, I’m all about imparting my knowledge on anyone willing to listen). Similarly, I am a “believer” in the crisis that is global warming. I will nag you about your use of disposable straws (and plastic, in general), educate you on the enormous size of the average American’s carbon footprint and why having 6 kids is economically/socially irresponsible, rant about current society’s unacceptable retirement of “The Courtesy Wave” in traffic, and emphatically lecture on why killing honey bees is not only morally reprehensible but just plain willfully ignorant. I can ramble on for days regarding the lusciousness of the Oxford Comma and how 99.23% of the population uses a semicolon incorrectly. 

I adore German engineering, have taught all of my ex girlfriends how to drive a manual transmission, and love working on Volkswagens (because if you can successfully replace a faulty thermostat in a generation IV Jetta you can do ANYTHINNNNGGG). I bought a 2007 Ducati 749 with money from a settlement after being hit by a woman in a BMW that resulted in a broken right scapula, a long weekend at Banner Good Samaritan hospital in Phoenix, and the totaling of my 2007 Triumph Daytona 675. I don’t have a motorcycle right now but I can’t wait to get back on 2 wheels, once I’m outta here. And if you’re still reading this: phone sex is fun and I may or may not be amazing at it. I could go on, but…my perfectionism/OCD dictates that I wrap this up because this little bio will never meet the unrealistic standards I constantly set for myself. 

Despite being informed by inmate.com (NOT an ACTUAL website this is what we’ve labeled the grapevine here in Purdy and I’m moderately embarrassed about how long it took me to realize that, Lol) that from now on when anyone Google’s my name the VERY FIRST thing to pop up will be my Caged Ladies profile, I’m still saying, “YOLO”. Make it worth my while. -)

  • Email Me/jpay

I am permitted to receive emails through JPay. You can set up a free account and then each email costs less than a postage stamp.

Click here and then select the state of Washington and enter inmate ID#420654 Select: Xandra Abram / Agency: Washington State Department.

  • Write Me

You can write me at the following address:

Xandra Abram DOC #420654
Washington Correction Center for Women
9601 Bujacich Road NW
Gig Harbor, WA 98332

Do not send cash, personal checks or stamps. The mail will be rejected and returned to you at the inmate’s expense. The letter(s) inside must be addressed to the inmate on the envelope.
Mail must have a return address (as defined by the USPS ), including an identifiable last name.

Here are more female inmates seeking pen pals. 

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